| 1 | I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. |
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| 2 | You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
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| 3 | Every man reaps what he sows, except the amateur gardener. |
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| 4 | I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast. |
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| 5 | If it's not going according to plan, maybe there never was a plan. |
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| 6 | You know it is time to go on a diet when your pager goes off and you can't feel the vibration. |
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| 7 | If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. |
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| 8 | I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. |
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| 9 | Above all else: Sky.
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| 10 | I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO. |
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| 11 | Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. |
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| 12 | Accountants don't die, they just lose there balance. |
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| 13 | It is better to be part of the idle rich class than be part of the idle poor class. |
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| 14 | I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
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| 15 | I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weener or huge boobs. |
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| 16 | Morning people: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."Night people: "Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter." |
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| 17 | One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.
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| 18 | A diet is a weigh of life. |
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| 19 | I'm retired and this is as dressed up as I'm gonna get.
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| 20 | A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. |
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