Funniest One Liners!

1If my calculations are correct, slinky + escalator = everlasting fun. Share on Facebook      
2Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary! Share on Facebook      
3How important does a man have to be before he's considered assassinated instead of just murdered ? Share on Facebook      
4I still miss my ex-girlfriend... but my aim is improving. Share on Facebook      
5Any ship can be a minesweeper... once. Share on Facebook      
6I've got a wonderful doctor. If you can't afford the operation, he touches up the X rays. Share on Facebook      
7Man who run in front of car get tired. Share on Facebook      
8Work harder: millions on welfare depend on you. Share on Facebook      
9WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. Share on Facebook      
10Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Share on Facebook      
11You're not completely worthless...I can at least use you as a bad example. Share on Facebook      
12God created man in his image. Being a gentleman, man did the same to God. Share on Facebook      
13Visualize Whirled Peas Share on Facebook      
14Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink. Share on Facebook      
15According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist. Share on Facebook      
16Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories. Share on Facebook      
17New Mexico: Cleaner than regular Mexico. Share on Facebook      
18Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Share on Facebook      
19Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter. Share on Facebook      
20The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. Share on Facebook