Funniest One Liners!

1Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. Share on Facebook      
2A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers. Share on Facebook      
3I am diagonally parked between two parallel universes! Share on Facebook      
4Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path. Share on Facebook      
5Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA. Share on Facebook      
6Put one foot in front of the other. Share on Facebook      
7Build a machine an idiot can use, and only an idiot will want to use it. Share on Facebook      
8Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? Share on Facebook      
9The Attorney General has determined that Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms can be dangerous to your health, and get away with it! Share on Facebook      
10I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him. Share on Facebook      
11Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Share on Facebook      
122 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. Share on Facebook      
13It's great to be in my current company's employ. They offer excellent benefits, competitive pay, and a work-free smokeplace Share on Facebook      
14I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back. Share on Facebook      
15When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Share on Facebook      
16Instant human! Just add coffee. Share on Facebook      
17I have a friend named Dennis. Both of his parents were midgets, but he isn't a midget. He's a midget-dwarf. He's two inches tall. He's the one who poses for trophies. Share on Facebook      
18Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown. Share on Facebook      
19If you can count your money, you're not rich. Share on Facebook      
20To err is human; to moo, bovine. Share on Facebook