Funniest One Liners!

1To know what you know, and to know what you don't know is true knowledge. Share on Facebook      
2I bought a new boomerang but I can't seem to throw the old one away. Share on Facebook      
3When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? Share on Facebook      
4When you give and don't expect anything back that's love. But if you give and expect a return it's an investment. Share on Facebook      
5I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. Share on Facebook      
6Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down. Share on Facebook      
7I'm busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest. Share on Facebook      
8Senior Citizen: Give me my damn discount! Share on Facebook      
9[Referring to a glass of water]: I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody! Share on Facebook      
10It's okay to let your mind go blank; but please turn off the sound. Share on Facebook      
11Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Share on Facebook      
12Class, it's time for sex education. Eziekel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parent's wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls. Share on Facebook      
13I gotta tell you, I am loving this yada yada thing. I can gloss over my whole life story. Share on Facebook      
14There's a typo in this sentence, but it slides away when your eyes move toward it. Share on Facebook      
15Eat, drink & re-marry. Share on Facebook      
161 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Share on Facebook      
17I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. Share on Facebook      
18Give me ambiguity or give me something else Share on Facebook      
19If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Share on Facebook      
20It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the world after they inherit it. Share on Facebook