Funniest One Liners!

1If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have inlaws. Share on Facebook      
2If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Share on Facebook      
3God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. Share on Facebook      
4The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent. Share on Facebook      
5From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it. Share on Facebook      
6I have spent most of my money on women and beer. The rest I just wasted... Share on Facebook      
7Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? Share on Facebook      
8You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. Share on Facebook      
9Why do they call it a One Night Stand when you're horizontal most of the time ? Share on Facebook      
10If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back. Share on Facebook      
11Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m. Share on Facebook      
12We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Share on Facebook      
13When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the ass of reason goes unwiped. Share on Facebook      
14There are only two kinds of people in the world - there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." Share on Facebook      
15Hallmark Card: "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.... so we're having you put to sleep." Share on Facebook      
16Cancel my subscription caused I'm over your issues! Share on Facebook      
17Only the insane have strength enough to prosper; only those that prosper may judge what is truly sane. Share on Facebook      
18If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen? Share on Facebook      
19You make me hornier before 9 AM than most people do all day. Share on Facebook      
20Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Share on Facebook