Funtacular.com

1	Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
2	There is no I in team, but there is a ME.
3	If Frank Sinatra owed you a favor, you should ask him to have one of his buddies kill Andy Williams.
4	When the human body is immersed in warm water, the telephone will ring.
5	I have multiple personalities. Three of them are here now. Meet Ruby, Princess and Joe.
6	I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
7	I'm an expert at multitasking. I can cheat on six diets at the same time!
8	I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
9	That boy's about as sharp as a bag of wet mice.
10	All things being equal, you lose.
11	My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
12	George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!"... well, swine flu.
13	Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
14	If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life.
15	If you don't want to slip, stay away from slippery places.
16	Crazy people go through the forest by taking take the psycho path.
17	Did you hear that A & P and Stop-N-Shop have merged? The new store's called "Stop 'n Pee".
18	Two rights do not make a wrong, they make an airplane.
19	A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
20	Newbie: gathers honey 80% faster.