| 1 | Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. |
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| 2 | A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers. |
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| 3 | I am diagonally parked between two parallel universes!
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| 4 | Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path. |
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| 5 | Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA. |
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| 6 | Put one foot in front of the other. |
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| 7 | Build a machine an idiot can use, and only an idiot will want to use it. |
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| 8 | Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? |
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| 9 | The Attorney General has determined that Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms can be dangerous to your health, and get away with it! |
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| 10 | I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him. |
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| 11 | Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. |
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| 12 | 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. |
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| 13 | It's great to be in my current company's employ. They offer excellent benefits, competitive pay, and a work-free smokeplace |
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| 14 | I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back. |
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| 15 | When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. |
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| 16 | Instant human! Just add coffee. |
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| 17 | I have a friend named Dennis. Both of his parents were midgets, but he isn't a midget. He's a midget-dwarf. He's two inches tall. He's the one who poses for trophies. |
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| 18 | Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown. |
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| 19 | If you can count your money, you're not rich. |
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| 20 | To err is human; to moo, bovine. |
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