Funniest One Liners!

1What do you get when you cross a Collie and a Pitbull? A dog that rips your arm off then goes for help! Share on Facebook      
2When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Share on Facebook      
3A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago. Share on Facebook      
4When ideas fail, words come in very handy. Share on Facebook      
5A healthy, male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his weight in other people's patience. Share on Facebook      
6A Pessimist is what an Optimist calls a Realist. Share on Facebook      
7Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying to enforce 10 commandments. Share on Facebook      
8Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due. Share on Facebook      
9Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. Share on Facebook      
10Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion. Share on Facebook      
11Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. Share on Facebook      
12When in doubt, do what the President does. Guess. Share on Facebook      
13It's strange, isn't it? Stand in the middle of a library and go "Aaaaaaagghhhh" and everyone just stares at you. But do the same thing on an airplane, everyone joins in. Share on Facebook      
14One night I came home very late. It was the next night. Share on Facebook      
15Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children. Share on Facebook      
16It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. Share on Facebook      
17Sanity is a state of mind... but the taxes were so high I had to move away. Share on Facebook      
18Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! Share on Facebook      
19A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. Share on Facebook      
20If you believe everything you read, don't read. Share on Facebook