Funniest One Liners!

1After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance. Share on Facebook      
2You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. Share on Facebook      
3Photons have mass?! I didn't even know they were Catholic... Share on Facebook      
4Do you know the three times that most people are in church? When they are hatched, matched and dispatched. Share on Facebook      
5I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest. Share on Facebook      
6One doesn't have to live in constant fear, unless of course one suffers from paranoia. Share on Facebook      
7I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity. I said, "Your honour, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?" Share on Facebook      
8You only have one chance to make a first impression. Share on Facebook      
9The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me? Share on Facebook      
10Health plans are like hospital gowns...You only think you're covered. Share on Facebook      
11Have you seen the latest Jane Fonda video ? It's called "Didn't Work Out." Share on Facebook      
12Man who run in front of car get tired. Share on Facebook      
13Why do drivers-education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Share on Facebook      
14Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire. Share on Facebook      
15I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Share on Facebook      
16My realitycheck bounced. Share on Facebook      
17A hug is a great gift... one size fits all, and it's easy to exchange. Share on Facebook      
18So, do you live around here often? Share on Facebook      
19I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them. Share on Facebook      
20I was the next door kid's imaginary friend. Share on Facebook