Funniest One Liners!

1The truth will set you free.. but a good lie can always break you out. Share on Facebook      
2A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. Share on Facebook      
3God answers knee-mail. Share on Facebook      
4If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert. Share on Facebook      
5ARMY: It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. Share on Facebook      
6Cancel my subscription caused I'm over your issues! Share on Facebook      
7Here I am! What are your other two wishes? Share on Facebook      
8If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already? Share on Facebook      
9It's perfectly okay to have sex on an empty stomach...especially if it belongs to your partner. Share on Facebook      
10Today in English we learned absolutely nothing about killing mockingbirds. Share on Facebook      
11Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying to enforce 10 commandments. Share on Facebook      
12If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. Share on Facebook      
13How many times do I have to flush before you go away? Share on Facebook      
14I saw a bald eagle the other day. All of its feathers were combed over to one side. Share on Facebook      
15It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips..yet she won't drink from my glass! Share on Facebook      
16A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid." Share on Facebook      
17All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start! Share on Facebook      
18Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth? Share on Facebook      
19Vanna White has been very sick. She hasn't had a vowel movement since Thursday. Share on Facebook      
20My girlfriend is so stupid, she thought an innuendo was an Italian suppository! Share on Facebook