Funniest One Liners!

1All you need is a sick mind and a healthy body. Share on Facebook      
2I don't have a big ego, I'm way too cool for that. Share on Facebook      
3Answering Machine Recording: "You have reached the breast self-examination hot line. Please press one ...Now press the other one." Share on Facebook      
4I'm not completely useless. At the least I can set a bad example. Share on Facebook      
5I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. Share on Facebook      
6Everything worthwhile is mandatory, prohibited, or taxed. Share on Facebook      
7Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks. Share on Facebook      
8A penny saved is ridiculous. Share on Facebook      
9Some drink at the fountain of knowledge... Others just gargle. Share on Facebook      
10To err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human. Share on Facebook      
11It's not what you wear; it's how you take it off. Share on Facebook      
12When the knives are in me, I am at peace. Share on Facebook      
13Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist. Share on Facebook      
14Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Share on Facebook      
15The older you get, the better you realize you were. Share on Facebook      
16Don't force it, get a larger hammer. Share on Facebook      
17Vote Republican - it's easier than thinking! Share on Facebook      
18A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. Share on Facebook      
19I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. Share on Facebook      
20Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway. Share on Facebook