Funniest One Liners!

1Don't you think 'All-Dressed' potato chips should come with little bowties? Share on Facebook      
2A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich." Share on Facebook      
3Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers. Share on Facebook      
4A teacher is a person who used to think he liked children. Share on Facebook      
5Try to do things in chronological order. It's less confusing that way. Share on Facebook      
6You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think. Share on Facebook      
71000 aches == 1 megahurtz Share on Facebook      
8The most interesting results happen only once. Share on Facebook      
9Drink your coffee, there are people in India sleeping. Share on Facebook      
10At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." Share on Facebook      
11Why don't satanic warlocks ever appear on televison to exhort unbelievers to donate money to fight God? Share on Facebook      
12Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. Share on Facebook      
13Did any of you married people out there ever wonder whether it's better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won? Share on Facebook      
14I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." Share on Facebook      
15A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it. Share on Facebook      
16The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement. Share on Facebook      
17If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands. Share on Facebook      
18Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends. Share on Facebook      
19Be naughty and save Santa the trip. Share on Facebook      
20A metaphor is like a simile. Share on Facebook