Funniest One Liners!

1If it isn't broken, fix it until it is. Share on Facebook      
2It is not what they say about you, it's what they whisper. Share on Facebook      
3By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me. Share on Facebook      
4One thing that makes me believe in UFOs is, sometimes I lose stuff. Share on Facebook      
5Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools. Share on Facebook      
6We only grow when we step outside our comfort zone. Share on Facebook      
7I'm Not Suddenly a Dirty Old Man... I've Been Practicing Since 1949 Share on Facebook      
8When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye! Share on Facebook      
9If someone cuts you off in traffic, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. Share on Facebook      
10Someone once told me that love makes the world go 'round. Well, I just had to laugh in their face because, c'mon, everyone knows that what makes the world go 'round is a mutant gerbil on a treadmill. Share on Facebook      
11No good deed goes unpunished. Share on Facebook      
12There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. Share on Facebook      
13I worry that the person who thought up Rap may be thinking up something else. Share on Facebook      
14Don't teach your children the value of a dollar if they find out , they'll ask for two. Share on Facebook      
15My income seems to be the only thing I can't live without or within. Share on Facebook      
16A good scapegoat is hard to find. Share on Facebook      
17Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. Share on Facebook      
18Ever wonder why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Share on Facebook      
19I'm free to go, so I will stay! Share on Facebook      
20I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage. Share on Facebook