Funniest One Liners!

1Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. Share on Facebook      
2When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey. Share on Facebook      
3Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter == Eskimo Pi Share on Facebook      
4Money is the root of all wealth. Share on Facebook      
5If A is a success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut. (Albert Einstein) Share on Facebook      
6Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Share on Facebook      
7We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Share on Facebook      
8Someone robbed the wig factory. Police have been combing the area for clues. Share on Facebook      
9Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. Share on Facebook      
10It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a.. no, no, it's a bird. Share on Facebook      
11Men must have invented maps. Who else would make an inch into a mile? Share on Facebook      
12Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen. Share on Facebook      
13So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. Share on Facebook      
14Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children. Share on Facebook      
15The moment for calm and rational discussion is past, now is the time for senseless bickering. Share on Facebook      
16Life is like a box of chocolates; too big a box with too few chocolates. Share on Facebook      
17Life is like a box of chocolates; only the crappy ones are left. Share on Facebook      
18The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. Share on Facebook      
19In a world full of women, you're the man! Share on Facebook      
20If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life. Share on Facebook