Funniest One Liners!

1Ideas are like beards; men do not have them until they grow up. Share on Facebook      
2My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. Share on Facebook      
3A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye. Share on Facebook      
4Grandparents: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. Share on Facebook      
5Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex. Share on Facebook      
6Is ignorance or apathy the biggest problem with the world today? I don't know and I don't care. Share on Facebook      
7I have nothing to declare except my genius. Share on Facebook      
8Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw. Share on Facebook      
9Television is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done. Share on Facebook      
10Welcome what you can't avoid. Share on Facebook      
11Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration. Share on Facebook      
12Tech Support: your ISPs way of expressing their hatred towards you. Share on Facebook      
13It's hard to be fit as a fiddle, when you're shaped like a cello. Share on Facebook      
14Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. Share on Facebook      
15Some people are wise, and some, otherwise. Share on Facebook      
16If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better? Share on Facebook      
17I had amnesia once -- or twice. Share on Facebook      
18Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried. Share on Facebook      
19Jesus SAVES! Jordon gets the rebound, he shoots, he SCORES! Share on Facebook      
20My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you? Share on Facebook