You know you're getting older

1"I just can't drink the way I used to", replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again". Share on Facebook      
206:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Share on Facebook      
390% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. Share on Facebook      
4A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff". Share on Facebook      
5A 'late night' now ends at 11 pm. Share on Facebook      
6About half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief". Share on Facebook      
7All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. Share on Facebook      
8All your favorite music is in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart. Share on Facebook      
9An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee! Share on Facebook      
10At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal. Share on Facebook      
11Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments." Share on Facebook      
12Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. Share on Facebook      
13Eating a basket of buffalo wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. Share on Facebook      
14Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. Share on Facebook      
15Getting a little action means you don't need to take a laxative. Share on Facebook      
16Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. Share on Facebook      
17Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi and Ho-Ho's Share on Facebook      
18Happy hour is a nap. Share on Facebook      
19Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. Share on Facebook      
20It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. Share on Facebook